Temporary blog page until I properly set up this site.
19 I 2024: So Pomu is gone, huh?
Admittedly I haven't watched her all that much.
Before getting my current job my motivation was too low to do anything, and after I started working my limited time had to be split between other things and other vtubers. Even in Niji, the few that I actually check up on somewhat regurarly are the Sanbaka trio and Amamiya. But she still seemed like a good girl.
And she was one of the four pillars of NijiEN, alongside Nina, Selen and Vox. Nina has graduated already, and Selen is probably going to take a similar approach to the one now known as Dokugai Chinami. And while Vox is still around and doesn't seem likely to go, a table cannot stand on just one leg. And NijiEN REALLY needs a solid table right now.
However, what prompted this post wasn't the graduation, but the Fairy of AKIBerse MV. It featured several shots of Akihabara, including the miniature park by the Shouhei Bridge.That place became very dear to me two months ago.
I remember being there, eating a konbini salmon onigiri for breakfast after getting out of the Akiba Kaikatsu Club to start the third day of my Japan trip, and the fact that after 15 years of being a weeb, I was finally in Japan, has finally kicked in at that very moment. For so many years I didn't think I'd get anywhere in life, especially not in a position where I would have saved up enough cash to fly to Japan. I've repeated a year in high school due to years of bullying culminating in skipping classes to the point of having less than 30% attendance. Then after graduation I was a neet two times adding up to over 6 years.
But I did it.
Another vtuber-related thing that I've seen today that made me think about my life was a clip of Mikeneko's voice acting. I really liked it, I think she did great.
As someone who got into vtubers because of the "Go home" clip, I'm just happy she found a different goal for herself and succeeded. With how much of a shitshow that situation was, I was worried she was just done with any form of entertainment. I know how hard that can be as someone currently struggling to find a different goal for myself. I love rhythm games, but I need to take yet another break from them because of wrist pain. So, as an exploration of possible goals, and to help me improve my Japanese, maybe let's try making a couple videos for my currently useless youtube channel?
07 V 2024: Self-repair needed.
I had several plans for today.
Read manga, finish setting up my pc after a reinstall(I now use Void, BTW), start working on a soundphere skin, restart Anki, and a bunch of others. After all, I had 8 hours to do stuff.
But no.
All I did after coming back from work was eat, bitch about my coworkers(to be fair fuckers earned it), fap, browse /vt/, watch an event for a device I don't think I could justify buying, doomscroll on Twitter, walk aroung my room, and fap again.
It is now half an hour before I have to go to sleep to make the morning shift tommorrow.
None of the things planned done.
None of the things done planned.
The more I waste time, the sadder I feel.
The sadder I feel, the more I waste time.
A neverending cycle that I need to break somehow.
08 V 2024: Update
I woke up a bit early. I fixed steam, only took 9 minutes(I was misssing 32-bit DRI and installed DBus but didn't launch fluxbox with a DBus session). I fixed Polish characters. Literally one line in .xinitrc that I forgot about. I added a Japanese IME. Installed ibus and ibus-anthy, and added one line in .xinitrc, which was WAY faster than the two hours needed back when I was on Mint.
So half of the PC related things I had planned for yesterday took less than 15 minutes.
Edit: And now I came back from work. I started doomscrolling again, but stopped myself this time. I added JP locale, fixed fonts, added a bunch of stuff to my fluxbox menu. I was going to work on my soundsphere skin, but the latest update crashes. So I read some manga. I also installed libreoffice to update my manga spreadsheet. Yes, I use a spreadsheet. I want to write my own desktop episode/chapter tracker one day.
I think this illustrates my problem well.
It's not that I can't get shit done, it's just that I get distracted and/or demotivated, and then get sadder because of it.
13 V 2024: A bit unnecessary
I started working on a static site generator to bring this place back to life. The first thing I worked on was a BBCode generator, but the longer I worked on it, the more unnecesary I found it.[b], [s], [i] and so on are all just the same thing with different brackets. <code> is broken on Neocities, you need to use the "depreciated" <xmp> tag. Nevermind I'm using it wrong, [code] in BBCode is <pre><code> in HTML. [quote] is close enough, being <blockquote>
19 V 2024: Priorities
After the newest Twitter changes I can neither use strict tracking protection nor screenshot anything on that site(not with my browser anyways, good old scrot
still works). Considering how much time I waste doomscrolling here it might be worth leaving, even if it would hinder growth when I eventually get uploading. An alternative would be to automate tweeting about new videos. And while I thought I had to pay for any API use, turns out there is a write-only free tier. Sure, that means not being able to see comments, but it also means not getting caught up in comments and recommended posts. This means higher chance of focusing on priorities, like finally starting to work on videos.
Also after some more thinking, and realising that I'm wrong about how HTML works(because I was thinking too BBCode-mindedly), I decided that writing this blog in raw HTML isn't nearly as bad as I thought. And now that I started to work on the site a bit, it's looking less shit. I'll still probably change the color palette. There was a time when I absolutely loved the aesthetic of retro amber LCDs. I even made a custom fluxbox theme(that sadly got lost in time). The site theme was a callback to that. I'm trying a green scheme currently, might change it later.
15 VIII: Discovery
While trying to find a post I liked a while back, I made a surprising discovery.
Twitter has been deleting all of my likes. Not only I cannot find any of my likes past one month ago, but also my profile shows my retweets from before that to only have a retweet, not a like, while I always like what I retweet.
I think it's a signal to leave it for greener pastures of JP social media. That would come with the benefit of my doomscrolling at least contributing to immersion and helping me learn Japanese.